suicideblonde: The summer of 1992 I was 13 years...

suicideblonde:

The summer of 1992 I was 13 years old and just out of the 8th grade. I was a total spazz socially, tending to bombard people with my intense energy. Add on to that the fact that I wasn’t even remotely able to admit that I was gay, and you have one lost girl. There was only one place that I felt safe, where I could be free - inside of a song.

My very strict Christian parents allowed me to listen to a limited list of secular artists. I was allowed to have The Bodyguard soundtrack because Whitney Houston sang Jesus Loves Me on it - little did my parents know of the epic camp queerness of this album.

I spent my summer listening to side A of that cassette tape, Whitney’s side, on repeat. I Will Always Love You, I’m Every Woman, I Have Nothing and Queen of the Night. I would press the earbuds of my Sony Sports walkman into my ears as I lipsynced along with Whitney and felt every deep emotion along with her. She was expressing all the overwhelming feelings that were churning inside my confused brain, calling out things that I couldn’t beginning to form yet. The relief of emotional pressure being released was so freeing. I listened to that tape so much that I rubbed all the writing off it, wore the tape down in places.

Thank you for being there when I needed you during all the times in my life, Whitney. I’m going to miss you.

(via bohemea)